Field Guide To Moscow

[eska]

Soldatus Malnutritius

Teenage Soldier

Habitat: metro; Red Square; near famous monuments

Distinguishing Features: camoflauge; bored, expressionless face; metal detector; occasional twitches caused by hunger pangs

Danger if Provoked: medium to high, depending on blood sugar level

Mortal Weaknesses: strong gusts of wind; will let anything slide for 100-ruble bribe

Comments: The teenage soldier can be easily found in many locations in Central Moscow. In the wild, soldatus malnutritius is often spotted in packs of two to five, occasionally accompanied by a large bomb-sniffing dog and asking for cigarettes. This species is usually docile and poses little threat to the observer, unless said observer is drunk, has Caucasian features, or is an easy target for a bribe shakedown (see turistus americanus).
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